Honestly, I never planned on sharing any style posts on this blog…much less posts that include photos of me in a swimsuit. Yes, I’ve mentioned that before but I’m going to say it again because it is the truth. But this space has changed so much over the years, and here we are with a post with me in a swimsuit.
I have struggled with body image for a long time, and it is a hard thing to overcome. We grow up seeing an “ideal” body type, and we somehow begin to expect ourselves to look a certain way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in a dressing room and cried. (And sometimes still do!) What I will tell you is this and I truly mean it: there is no ideal body type. We are all unique and we should strive to be healthy, mentally and physically.
How I’m Finding Confidence in my Body at 30
A few years ago, I began to accept that I would never be a size two, or whatever that ideal size is. I won’t weigh that specific amount, whatever that number is that used to be in my mind. That is not the goal that I should have. My goal should be to take care of myself. To be healthy and to be strong.
About a year and a half ago, I started practicing yoga regularly and it has helped me tremendously with my body confidence. When I see photos of myself, my first thought used to be to immediately say “ugh, my legs look huge” or “look how big my shoulders look, gross.” But now I pause when I see photos, and instead of criticizing everything about my body, I see strength: I see the muscles that I built playing softball for 16 years, soccer and tennis all the way through college. I may have thick legs, but they carried me through all the sports I played, through gymnastics when I was a young, and as a cheerleader when I was a teenager, for miles when I forced myself to run. (FYI – I do not like to run).
What I Wore
At 30 years old, this body is strong. There are things that I can do now that I couldn’t do at 20 or 25. I work hard to take care of myself, to be healthy, and to love myself as best I can. Now, I’m not saying that I have completely gotten over my issues with body image, because that would not be true. I notice every little wrinkle that is starting to come up on my face (hello, forehead wrinkles) and every night I slather my face in moisturizer and anti-wrinkle cream. And I still make negative comments about myself sometimes. But I’m trying to give myself grace.
So what I’m saying is that if you struggle with body image, too, girl give yourself some grace. Find something that makes you feel strong. For me, it is exercise. It’s yoga and it’s spinning and it’s walking with a friend. I lose my self love when I stop being active, and it isn’t a good feeling.